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It sounded like something was trying to break the window
next to the bed. I turned over and peered cautiously out
the glass. I couldn't see anything through the mist, but I
knew something was out there because it was making one hell
of a racket. Whatever it was seemed determined to break the
pane.

Blue Duck and I had blown our nest egg to buy this place,
and it seemed strange going to sleep with so much quiet.

We arrived late, found the light switch, tossed our
sleeping bag on the floor and hit the hay. I'd been driving
most of the night, and didn't feel much like stumbling
around in a strange place to check things out.

"Go to hell away!" I yelled. My eyes felt like they were
leaking 98% octane.

I wondered if I should wake Blue Duck, but it seemed like
too much effort when I considered the reaction she would
probably have to some alien knocking at the window. Peck!
Peck! Peck! PECK!

"What are you doing?" She screamed, rolling over to peer up
at me through a tangled mess of auburn hair. "Stop that
insanity right this minute! Have you lost your mind? What
time is it, anyway?"

"I don't know what time it is, and it's not me making that
noise! Look for yourself," I grumbled, pointing a
determined finger at the window next to her. I could see a
shadowy figure about 3 feet high. It was shaking itself as
if to remove a bug, and wisps of snowy feathers were
falling in a cloud around its head.

Blue Duck sat up and squinted, probably to make sure she
wasn't seeing things, and then she bounded out of the
sleeping bag, snatched up a shoe, threw open the window and
smacked it on top of its head. "Get away from here you
dirty old thing!" she shrieked, glancing back at me to see
if I were backing her up. I'd moved farther away into a
corner just in case.

The downy white IT emitted an outraged squawk, staggered
back a couple of feet and took flight.

"What do you think it is?" She squinted through fiery green
orbs. Blue Duck can be fearless when the chips are down and
her maternal instincts are up. This looked like one of
those times.

"It looks like a goose to me," I quipped, waiting for her
to throw the other shoe at me for being in the corner.
Sometimes it's best just to stay out of her reach. "A
goose! Don't be silly. Why would that thing be a goose?
Whoever heard of a goose knocking on someone's window
before dawn?"

Now, the only goose Blue Duck was likely to have seen was
in a children's book. Still, she had a point. Why would a
goose be knocking on any window whether it was before dawn
or not?

"Get up and find out what that thing is," she demanded,
advancing closer to me than was necessary. I picked up a
shoe of my own.

"Babe," I crabbed. "Just calm down. I'm going out there in
a minute. I just need to get my wits about me. A cup of
coffee wouldn't hurt, either!" I hinted.

"It's out there. We're in here. What do you think is going
to happen? Get a grip, will you?"

Sometimes I amaze myself at my capacity to defuse
situations. The next thing I knew I was peeling a 5'10"
woman off my chest so I could pull my flattened butt out of
a splintered plank of the wooden floor.

Dev Hobbins is the author of several popular new eBook articles, including "The Adventures of Blue Duck & Mallard, a couple's humors adventures moving into rural America.

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